(Source: goodmorningandgoodnight.com)
You leave in less than a month. My life is going to completely change when you leave, and I’m not ready for that.
Adam, you have your faults, but I honestly can’t see myself with anyone else.
I don’t know why you chose Penn State, let alone why you chose to go in the summer instead of the Fall. I can’t say that I hope you transfer because you don’t like it, but I don’t want to lose you. I want you to like it because I want you to be happy but I also want you to be close to me.
I know that you’ll be fine without me, and I know that I’ll be fine without you, but I don’t want that to be an option. I love hanging out with you. I love you.
I love you, Adam. I’m just too scared to tell you.
you know when you are with someone and you just want them to look at you like that all the time, and when they ask you when they can see you next you just want to scream “all the time, i want to be with you all the time”, and you wonder how it was possible to go years without having that person in your life and yet still finding instances of joy (which by now seem so miniscule in comparison to what you feel when he smiles with those freckles alongside his left eye), and even just a small handful of time spent around that person can leave you smiling with the brightest eyes hours upon hours afterwards, and you just need to thank God all of the time because you find it unbelievable that something, that someone, so good could come out of such a bad part of your life?
yeah.
Felicia has never put something I’m constantly thinking into better words.
“and you just need to thank God all of the time because you find it unbelievable that something, that someone, so good could come out of such a bad part of your life?”
“I mean I know I’m not really mr. romantic and that’s why I want to make sure you feel it cause I should do something more often to show it then :/ cause it really is deeper than “you’re cute and you’re beautiful.” I like you as a person, you’re my friend too and I like to do stuff with you and spend time with you because no one else makes me as happy and carefree as you do :)”
This kid<3
Our first kissing picture.
Right before I took it, you said “Oh man, the cliche kissing picture?” in a joking manner.
This is probably the only time you’d willingly take a cliche kissing picture with me. I know it’s cliche and everyone does it and most couples do it way too often, but it’s still kind of cute, so thank you for not objecting :)
It’s been a while
It’s just cause I became a lot more open about our relationship on my regular tumblr.
Anyway, I had a dream last night that you finally told me you love me. I mean, you have told me before but it’s always been a best friend kind of love. In the dream, you told me you love me in the boyfriend/girlfriend way.
And a few days ago we kind of almost had sex.
Adam, I want these things to happen. I want you to tell me you love me, and I want to make love with you, but the timing is horrible. You leave two months from now, and when you leave, I don’t know what happens to us. I don’t want to lose you but the idea of long distance isn’t appealing. I feel like either way I won’t be happy with the relationship (or lack thereof) when you leave. I think that if it weren’t for the fact that you were leaving in two months, I would have sex with you.
But if we do these things, if we start saying I love you and if we start having sex then I’ll just fall for you harder and I don’t want to get myself more attached to you than I already am because it’ll be that much harder to move on from you should I have to.
I feel something for you that is so unexplainable that it’s frustrating.
I spent yesterday with you.
You came after school, and we cuddled for most of the day besides when we were playing piano and eating. We didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, but it was wonderful. Just being with you makes my day, but yesterday was different. We hadn’t actually seen each other for weeks, 3 to be exact. And before that, whenever we did see each other, we didn’t see each other for long. Yesterday was the first time in about a month and a half that we actually spent more than two or three hours together.
We were watching Going the Distance and I ended up falling asleep in your arms. I’ve never actually slept in someones arms before, and I wasn’t sure if I’d like it. But God, that was amazing. There were moments where I’d wake up, give you a kiss, and fall back asleep. And I don’t think there are many things that are better than waking up and seeing you before seeing anything else. A few times, I woke up and found you smiling at me. I don’t know, everything about falling asleep with you was completely wonderful, and I realized that I could get used to it.
Somehow, I fell for you noticeably harder in a single day.
In the last two weeks, I have seen you once, and it was only for two hours.
Oh, Adam, I miss you.
